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" oh her ? her name's celia. she could do almost anything, except simple multiplication - she still needs her calculator. "
Tuesday, June 30, 2009 11:48 PM

that's right bitches.
my name's celia .. i could do almost anything, except for simple multiplcation like 4 x 8 .. i still need my calculator for that.
i guess sometimes, when people say you can't run without learning to walk .. it doesn't really apply for me. because i don't understand how i don't know half my multiplication tables sometimes, but i'm starting a higher level of math .. dropped the lower grade math and everything. it's like i'm running with a quarter of my feet.
so there i was..
he was standing in front of me, and i couldn't believe it.
i wasn't stunned by him or anything,
it was more like
" why the fuck are you still alive, standing here like it's all good !? "
he said hi.
i couldn't believe the man's vocal chords hadn't been knocked out yet
oh my god ..
he had the balls to fucking stand right in front of me.
and then ?
i woke up.
i woke up angry.
don't even have to think about it,
it feels like i'm living summer O8, when it's summer O9 and i know this summer's going to be great.
because i know, no way in hell am i going to put up with any kind of crap this summer ..
like, or love.
there're so many things i could do.
i mean, i used to work at a friggin' soup kitchen ..
i tutored brown kids that pick their nose ..
i'm actually excited to go to high school that's like, a 30 minute walk away from me.
i've lied to my parents for about six months now, that's something i could never do for that long.
i used to take care of around 13 fish, in a ten gallon tank .. all by myself.
then i had to see them die, before the warranity was even over.
i found ways to get around almost everything.
i've done so much more as well.
but i can't forget.
i can't hear your name again and it'll be like another ordinary name.
i can't see you without wishing i had a gun.
i can't go to the mall, hoping you're not there.
but i guess, this is good in a way ..
it makes me realize how lucky i am.
i don't have to sleep for about an hour a night, hoping i didn't miss you on msn ..
i don't always have to rely on the computer.
i don't have to live up to your money standards if you wanna call it that way.
you know what's important ?
i don't have to cry everytime i see a happy couple walking by, wishing that was us .. because i'm in the same position as them. probably happier actually.
i'm happy to say that i'm in a happy relationship.
i don't have to be afraid of not making it to the next day :)

" you ain't make no difference, go to hell. "
sound familar ?
if you're even reading this.