so today was pretty fun still, haha. spent time with the mother and uncle .. something i haven't done outside of home for a while. besides the fact that my uncle and mom don't get along for the stupidest reasons like the price of shit, and how my mom's fucking forgetful and whatnott , it was fun because it's always fun when we go grocery shopping anywhere and my uncle cracks jokes lmao . but you know, noone's perfect and my uncle ends up understanding which is really good. so like, after we came home from grocery shopping my mom and i decided to have quality time together lmao at square one so we went and shopped and all. didn't get a lot of stuff but you knoww , i'm good with that (Y) cause my mom and i barely do anything together nowadays besides gossip and talk .. which is like our talk everyday anyways . so that was good. and then later on the boyfriend and i saw each other which was good because i was really starting to miss him xD so like, after i came home my mom saw me o_o and she noticed i was wearing her shirt/dress and she was like why do you go out looking like that -_- it's a dress. and i was like O_O yeah on you maybe. it's a shirt on me because i'm not that short >_> .. and my mom was like whatever. don't lose it in case i need it for an occasion. and i was like yeah okay whatever. and after she was like it's almost dark, why were you at the park for that long .. or something along those lines, and i was just like just chilling . it's nice out and everything . and my mom was like it's cold out o__o .. and i was like eh , it's a break from the hot house ? and my mom was all like okaay (or some form of agreement in chinese .. haha) and after i started thinking about all the stuff in the world .. like , here i am blogging .. and yknow , sometimes i really do hate hiding stuff from her . cause honestly everytime she knew about a guy, it starts out really good and then she ends up seeing the trend of going from like a ten in the level of happiness and it ends up beign around a 5, if not worse. but like things fall apart and she always sees that. and she was like you can't hold up a relationship for more than a couple of months without getting bored, or something bad happening. why don't you just give up and let mommy find you a better guy ? and i've always been like i never, ever go on the look out for a new boyfriend because i know that's not how the right guy comes along. and like, she ends up implying the fact that i never do hold up. and now that i am holding up, i can't tell her. i can't tell her how happy i am , can't tell her that whenever i'm out i'm not doing anything bad i'm with someone proper , can't tell her that i'm in love . we talk about everything but i avoid this topic. and i hate it , honestly .. she's my mother and everything .. but ya idk . i hate it a lot . sometimes i'm thinking to myself it's all good , one day she'll find out .. and then the question comes when , how , if she's gonna like freak out and die . maybe when i move out one day and it's worth telling , then i'll tell her . but anyhow , i'm pretty glad on the fact that i'm feeling a lot better . word on the fact that a week each month for at least 2 days i end up feeling like i'ma die and tired and crap .. but yeah idk , maybe i'm finally getting used to my period if not a bit better . why can't i just be a guy for like half a year, and if i do like it i'll end up getting a sex change. maybe it's nice wearing baggy clothes, not caring about how you look like , etc etc .
lmao, i'd never.
but all in all , i'm pretty happy about that interview on tuesday with carolyn for the agency . fuck , i'm nervous haha .. i'm so afraid about getting rejected .. but meh idk , if i do get in i'ma have to be serious about fitness . maybe i can end up running to square one instead of bussing xD definetly saves me money . but meh idk .. i can't believe i'm getting serious about this , can't believe this would even come across . like clothes and everything were something i've always wanted to do as like a second thing besides school , now that i can't do that anymore and i'm getting sick of babycakes , then i guess posing in front of a camera is what i'm gonna do next LOL .

so today was pretty fun still, haha. spent time with the mother and uncle .. something i haven't done outside of home for a while. besides the fact that my uncle and mom don't get along for the stupidest reasons like the price of shit, and how my mom's fucking forgetful and whatnott , it was fun because it's always fun when we go grocery shopping anywhere and my uncle cracks jokes lmao . but you know, noone's perfect and my uncle ends up understanding which is really good. so like, after we came home from grocery shopping my mom and i decided to have quality time together lmao at square one so we went and shopped and all. didn't get a lot of stuff but you knoww , i'm good with that (Y) cause my mom and i barely do anything together nowadays besides gossip and talk .. which is like our talk everyday anyways . so that was good. and then later on the boyfriend and i saw each other which was good because i was really starting to miss him xD so like, after i came home my mom saw me o_o and she noticed i was wearing her shirt/dress and she was like why do you go out looking like that -_- it's a dress. and i was like O_O yeah on you maybe. it's a shirt on me because i'm not that short >_> .. and my mom was like whatever. don't lose it in case i need it for an occasion. and i was like yeah okay whatever. and after she was like it's almost dark, why were you at the park for that long .. or something along those lines, and i was just like just chilling . it's nice out and everything . and my mom was like it's cold out o__o .. and i was like eh , it's a break from the hot house ? and my mom was all like okaay (or some form of agreement in chinese .. haha) and after i started thinking about all the stuff in the world .. like , here i am blogging .. and yknow , sometimes i really do hate hiding stuff from her . cause honestly everytime she knew about a guy, it starts out really good and then she ends up seeing the trend of going from like a ten in the level of happiness and it ends up beign around a 5, if not worse. but like things fall apart and she always sees that. and she was like you can't hold up a relationship for more than a couple of months without getting bored, or something bad happening. why don't you just give up and let mommy find you a better guy ? and i've always been like i never, ever go on the look out for a new boyfriend because i know that's not how the right guy comes along. and like, she ends up implying the fact that i never do hold up. and now that i am holding up, i can't tell her. i can't tell her how happy i am , can't tell her that whenever i'm out i'm not doing anything bad i'm with someone proper , can't tell her that i'm in love . we talk about everything but i avoid this topic. and i hate it , honestly .. she's my mother and everything .. but ya idk . i hate it a lot . sometimes i'm thinking to myself it's all good , one day she'll find out .. and then the question comes when , how , if she's gonna like freak out and die . maybe when i move out one day and it's worth telling , then i'll tell her . but anyhow , i'm pretty glad on the fact that i'm feeling a lot better . word on the fact that a week each month for at least 2 days i end up feeling like i'ma die and tired and crap .. but yeah idk , maybe i'm finally getting used to my period if not a bit better . why can't i just be a guy for like half a year, and if i do like it i'll end up getting a sex change. maybe it's nice wearing baggy clothes, not caring about how you look like , etc etc .
lmao, i'd never.
but all in all , i'm pretty happy about that interview on tuesday with carolyn for the agency . fuck , i'm nervous haha .. i'm so afraid about getting rejected .. but meh idk , if i do get in i'ma have to be serious about fitness . maybe i can end up running to square one instead of bussing xD definetly saves me money . but meh idk .. i can't believe i'm getting serious about this , can't believe this would even come across . like clothes and everything were something i've always wanted to do as like a second thing besides school , now that i can't do that anymore and i'm getting sick of babycakes , then i guess posing in front of a camera is what i'm gonna do next LOL .

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